All the things that have happened to me in the past few months have one common denominator – Time.
It’s gone too slow, too fast, had some deadlines, and other times it dragged onward til I thought I couldn’t bear it anymore (on things such as job hunt, etc..) The best thing to happen was the 48 hour Film project, though not at all unlike a roller coaster it had it’s up and down moments, just like any production I finish with a great feeling of purpose, relief, excitement, and feel very proud of everyone involved. 
The worst thing to happen was the string of depression I hadn’t had in years, not since probably I was a teenager where I just felt downright not good. Eventually, like all things, it has passed for the most part.
So, time. I can’t recall if I’ve spoken my thoughts on it yet, but you will definitely be hearing about it. To put it simply, I have never understood the origins and necessity of time. On some level, I understand it’s an important tool. I get that the world operates with regards to being on time, etc…so it’s not that I don’t think it’s useful. I just tend to lose track of it an awful lot, and even more so, I have no grasp on how a weekend can fly by in the blink of an eye as it were, and yet one day at work can drag on and on with no relief in how slow it is going. When that happens, I often wonder if I’d just change my mood, perhaps time would seem less of a burden to me. I think mood affects time very much so, this isn’t a new idea or anything…but personally for me, especially for me perhaps I should say, it very much affects how I perceive time. So with that in mind, I haven’t updated since February, so I’d like to do a bit of a run down of the past while.
Recently, a group of us gathered together and shot a film for the 48 hour film project that comes to Indy. It was myself, Aaron, Kylee (the usual trio) often shooting side projects, weddings, hodge podges of whatever we can do…and then two former classmates/friends joined us on our team – Jeremiah and Joshua. Together we formed VOLTRON!!!! *clears throat* oh wait, lol. We went under the guise of our group channel on Youtube, Pants Cannon Media. By the way, which got a chuckle from the official person having us draw genres from the hat on Friday. Resources and people were pulled together in one of the best displays of passion for film I’ve ever seen, in order for us to have what we needed to film and edit this in 48 hours. Funniest moments I can remember: Thinking we didn’t have enough footage to fulfill the minimum time requirements. hahah…if I hadn’t seen so many people defeated, I would laugh even more. But the thing was either a combo of stress, little sleep, and a glitch in Final Cut, or just one of the three. I still to this day do not know what the hell happened with that. I just know I wasn’t the only one affected with this “glitch” of thinking that. But the greatest news ever was finding out that we indeed had enough footage to fulfill the time. Yes, go ahead and slap a dunce hat on me if you will. Worst moment was finding out the male lead overslept, which had me in quite a state of panic and I’m pretty sure I now have a few more gray hairs thanks to that. However, I will say, it ended up turning out even better than fine with the replacement we managed to get on short notice. He was perfectly charming and animated and in good humour for the role, and he fit the part well.
I remember while editing I couldn’t believe how well he made that character come to life. Another happy surprise was Rachel from Landes costumes! My goodness that woman can act very very well! Her expressions are absolutely priceless. I can’t help but smile a big cheesy grin everytime I watch the part where Cooper has his magical moustache on, and we close in on her face all charmed by him, hahaha it’s just amazing. Sarah as the lead female in this role was stunningly beautiful and again, always a wonder to watch as she takes on any role we throw her way. From the cold cunning and strong female lead of Flora to this sweet and perfectly charming role of someone’s love interest, I couldn’t have been happier. Gavin made another great appearance as Cooper’s friend, and he’s always so hilarious on the set that I’d almost ask him to come to all our productions to keep morale up and make us all laugh and forget how stressful things are at times. RIP to his facial hair, but not to worry, it’ll grow back All our extras were very understanding of the hectic “hurry up and wait” that is production, and did a fantastic job of making our fantasy scene even more believable. Our makeup and hair stylists were spot on with their work, I was very very impressed – we even had them appear as extras which I hope was fun for them! We also had a photographer on the set, which I very much enjoy as sometimes with crazy production you tend to forget certain moments. I enjoyed seeing the pictures from the shoot, and it made me even think that perhaps I will also enlist the PA’s to have a cam in hand, that way at the end we can see so many different parts of production – like in the room where people were getting ready, editing and sound for post, as well as seeing it through other people’s eyes. We have an amazing group photo that I am happy for – and maybe I will just frame it over the fireplace if I was more photogenic xD Maybe on the next production I will!
For not having worked as a group before on a film, and then to jump head first into a 48 hour contest, I was very pleased! I have enough experience to know that on sets it is very much a family environment. You tend to lose all the formalities and superficial pleasantries after many hours sweating and fretting about production…but that’s what I like about it. In the end, you don’t hang on to the lil snags on the way, you just remember how much work everyone put in, and in general (not so much this production) even with disagreements on things, it just means everyone is passionate about what they’re doing – so I’ve never seen those as “negative” to the set, it’s just naturally how things go. In the end, everyone should be able to give one another a big hug or pat on the back and congrats and not need any apologies or explanations, I think we who are involved in film mostly know this (though not to say there’s never a parting of ways on things, happens all the time!)
Okay so enough gushing there, if I had forgotten anybody please feel free to pinch me in reminder. Oh last but not least, my fav memory was playing Finnish metal on the projector while capturing and editing. That was me in my element. Coffee in hand. Watching what we just filmed through new eyes on the laptop. That’s why I want to do what I do. It just feels right.
The job hunt still goes ever onward. I don’t have much to say as I don’t want to tinge the happier tones going on here. JUST HIRE ME ALREADY DAMMIT!!! x3
Also, I am still working on losing weight and getting myself back in order. It’s a slow process, it didn’t happen overnight so I can’t get rid of it overnight. I am still avoiding soda for the most part and trying to eat healthier. My biggest problem is just inserting exercise on those days when things are busy or I don’t feel like it, or insert any other excuse. It’s actually going alright. I will tackle it, it’s just a matter of time, ROFL…there it is again, my friend, Time. I just want to continue feeling better, maybe quit smoking eventually will help, and get myself in tip top form for whatever comes my way. It has taught me to be more appreciative in the future….next time once I’m healthy and I look in the mirror and think I am fat, I will simply need to recall this time of my life and remember that it’s all relative, and to stop being so harsh on myself. Shit happens. I got here when I broke my foot, although over a period of months throughout college I was just stressed, not eating, and that slowed my metabolism down. I was also depressed and when you stop caring, well…heheh. Time to start caring!
Hmm I am feeling less like biting my nails off, so I suppose that writing helped me center myself again.
In total excitement for tomorrow!!! Premiere at 7pm at the IMA. Hanging out at the cafe/bar until winners get announced after last screening, I think 11pm? I don’t even care if we win, but I am hopeful nonetheless.
Those guys were trustworthy, loyal as HELL, although a bit crazy or little mischief makers, but I could always count on them. I felt like their best friend, if they said it, and I knew they meant it. I don’t really feel that these days. Everyone grew up, disappeared, or moved away. The ones I still know from that period of time don’t really hang out with me anymore, we’ve all hit different points in our life. 
