I love Halloween. It’s probably been one of my favourite holidays since I can remember. I enjoy dressing up, going to haunted houses, sitting around fires roasting s’mores and listening to scary stories. I will preface all this by mentioning I haven’t ever quite made it through actually watching 31 scary movies during October, and I can be a bit of a scaredy-cat, depending what the movie is about. I do enjoy psychological thrillers most of all, but I’m taking suggestions and trying to broaden my scare range.
My goal is to watch at least 1 scary/halloween/fun/spooky themed movie each night this month, but on weekends I’ll probably watch more. I can’t promise there wouldn’t be ANY spoilers in here, but honestly, a lot of these movies will be older and so you’ll take the risk reading my unbridled thoughts, which I hope to document down right after each viewing. This isn’t going to be super technical review either, just my little brain summary.
OCT 1st to OCT 5th
Hocus Pocus – I figure I will start things off with this & also cap the end too. Why not! Love this film. It’s not really scary, but you won’t really mind. The Sanderson Sisters are an entertaining bunch to watch, and I’m pretty sure nostalgia for the movie is not at all unlike “A Christmas Story” or “Home Alone” during the holidays. You’ve seen it a billion times by now, but you still somehow enjoy it. Sure, it ends happily, but seriously, you won’t care! Billy the zombie will warm your little heart >.< oh also, that funny scene with the devil, “Honey buuunch”. Mary riding a vacuum. Sarah’s complete derpiness at all times. Bette’s performance is most wonderful. Bonus points for yabo’s.
Friday the 13th (2009) – I recall this movie because it was the first time I saw Jason run. I mean, the guy’s known for calmly approaching all his victims. He takes a little Sunday stroll, wielding his sword and pruning the hedge. I mean, victims. I don’t know why exactly this one, but recently I’d re-watched Freddy vs. Jason on a whim, so I figured I’d continue with more Jason films. I wouldn’t say it’s the best – at times I am not sure I remembered or even cared who was currently getting choppity-chopped. Gratuitous bewb shot, hellooo. The first rule of horror-film-not-dying-club, don’t have sex in the woods. Oh wait, is it don’t wear high heels in the woods? It definitely has jump/creepy factor in some parts. Not sure I’d go out of my way to watch it again anytime soon.
The Last Exorcism – this had promise. I really enjoyed the documentary style filming (though a tad handheld at times). The beginning was interesting & held my attention, including some charming moments, but most of all, really great humour about the fake exorcism tricks (no this isn’t a spoiler, it practically waves that fact in yer face throughout the film lol). Midway through, you should know there is a scene I REALLY hate involving animals. Not anything I want to ever remember. If this kind of thing bothers you, avert yer eyes. You’ll know when. And sadly, towards the end, things sped up so quick it felt like a cheap hurry-up-and-end-this-before-your-brain-catches-up. Overall, it got a little MEH to me. An okay twist if things had played out more. I would still recommend it with the caveat of these two things. I couldn’t help yelling at them to just freaking leave about ten dozen times xD “yer not paying me enough to deal with all this shit, man. I say good day to you. I’m outta here!!” I was inserting phrases for the guy to continue the comedic value when it needed it most.
The Descent – *shaking head* NOPE! NOPENOPENOPEEEEE. I couldn’t make it through this film, I admit defeat. It got late, I got spooked, blood pumping too much. It may take another round, yeeet again. Yes, this is the film I can never finish. You could not get me into that cave even if you threw all the shinies and cute plushies and stickers and everything down there. I have a thing with caves. If I can still see out, I’m good. No, I won’t be squeezing my arse into any tiny tunnels anytime soon. The minute the friend is all like “Oh no worries guys, I just brought us down this totally off the grid type cave without notifying anyone, and oh hey look at the broken leg over there – tis but a flesh wound” I could not retrieve my eyes from rolling. This film shoves you into the middle of an “unexplored” cave, full of creepy Gollum creatures, sudden cave-in’s, and reckless abandon for anything. I would have turned around 8 billion times before even getting to the tunnel, drove off in that car like CYA BITCHES, and skipped my way back home without a second glance.
The Conjuring – place head in hands, squish into a ball of sweaty anxiety, randomly cuss and jump at random noises like your own cat crunching food. Maybe nooot that scary, but certainly a creepy atmosphere, I’ll give it that. I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Warrens. Probably enough said there. I’m really not sure what to make of this one. It scared me at points, but I’m not sure what even was scaring me. Was it a witch? A demon? A witch demon ghost? Well placed SFX? 🙂 Yeah… And during the exorcism itself, there felt like a ton of buildup to this particular thing she saw, and why he didn’t want her around another person being exorcised, but what did she see!? Sometimes the ghost-witch-thingie acted in superhuman ways, and other times just seemed to borrow all sorts of abilities. I’m not sure anymore what it is, and it seems it doesn’t know either. Unanswered questions, guhhh. And suddenly it’s over right at it’s climax, and surprisingly no one has died and everybody’s having a hug fest on the lawn. Probably worth a watch once, but no more.
Interview with the Vampire – <3 This is a wonderful film. oh right, Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise vamp’in it up. WAT! And a very young Kirsten Dunst, who is a deliciously spoiled little vampire. All their characters are incredibly believable and enchanting. I don’t even know how this is possible, except MAGIC. I consider this a high recommendation, even if you haven’t YET read the book. (PS: How have you not read this book?!) Lestat can be described as the essence of vampire, all teeth and vicious nature, acting out life the way he believes is best. He doesn’t concern himself too much with the future. Louis is his opposite, hanging full onto his humanity and trying to find his meaning. He lost it as a human, and it seems he won’t soon find it as vampire, either. A complex little tale for all of us in that regard. As Lestat points out, what is life without meaning? I have seen this film several times and still find it’s intensity the same, yet the pacing is easy enough to follow. Beautiful settings, costumes, and time periods. Can you imagine being the interviewer.. it leaves you with plenty to think about.
Children of the Corn (2009 remake) – Teh Horrorz are not monsters or ghosts. It’s an unhappily married couple constantly reminding us ‘why did I marry you again’ within the first half hour, so that you can’t help but also wonder how on earth they made it through the ceremony. If there is any horror here, they help make for a miserable movie experience. There’s a few nicer moments between all the incessant jabs, but it never goes anywhere. Coming from the midwest, this corn classic from the 80’s never felt all that scary for me, but I did live around a lot of corn… it is kind of creepy. Total comedy gold when the guy runs out of the church and shows those kids a few Vietnam moves. Probably the best part, in fact. Too bad he forgot all that once he hit the cornfields. :/ Insert a giant band of kids who walk into the corn on their 18th birthday for sacrifice and all listen to some 7 yr old ordering them around. Cuuuuckoo! I suppose the saving grace here is it’s shot nicely at times, and when the guy finally gets on his own, you root for him at points. I think the kids do a decent job given the script, but at times it falls so flat you see the missing potential. So to sum this up, I’m not sure why his wife and him had to lock horns every 5 minutes, only to have a breakthrough, then to go straight back to bickering. Nothing came of it, so all that lacking character development is felt when they come for her and all you can think is “Phew, maybe NOW she’ll shaddup” The barren area of Nebraska is not somewhere I’ll be visiting anytime, ever. Nope, no thanks.
This entry was posted on Saturday, October 4th, 2014 at 4:19 am
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